The topic was, Have you ever been Makeup Shamed? I'm sure many of us who lurrve makeup have been in the situation where someone made a nasty comment or remark about your makeup, either because it's too heavy or you have on an unconventional colour like green lipstick or red eyeshadow. My friend told me about the time when she wore an orange lipstick to go to a wedding dinner, and her father said she looked like she was going to the wayang (dramatic show with painted faces). He insisted that she took it off, and eventually she did.
I feel really sad that our makeup choices lead to shaming by our closest ones, in fact my mother is also fond of saying such hurtful remarks. My mother is incredibly low-maintenance when it comes to personal grooming, and she scoffs at women who wear makeup because she thinks they are vain and silly.
I don't pay too much attention to her because she gives me enough crap for being overweight anyway, but it sure dampens the mood especially before you gain the confidence in your makeup skills and are still learning about application and techniques. Many times she would walk into the room and see me bake my entire oily face, and she would say I look like a ghost. Pfft like I was planning to go out like that. Whatever Mom.
So here is my reddit post, and if anyone is reading this, please share your makeup shaming experience.
Have You Ever Been Makeup Shamed?
Yes, by almost everyone I know, from my family, friends, partner, students, and random passersby. But all in varying degrees, from innocent comments like, "Your makeup is so heavy today" to "You look like Guan Gong" (Chinese God of Warrior with a famously red face).
Being in a predominantly Chinese society (Singapore), you are expected to wear natural and light makeup or even no makeup, and Western style makeup is considered slightly offensive. I'm mostly quite lazy so I go without makeup for 90% of the time, and the other 10% i go full face, it's all or nothing for me. And so the difference between the two faces are too much for most people, and they get such a shock every time.
I would like to say I don't care but I do, I don't want to be made fun of or talked about behind my back. And makeup has such a superficial reputation that women who wear too much makeup or depend on makeup are seen as vain or bimbotic. I will admit, before I was interested in makeup, I too didn't like the heavily made up look and I specifically hated the thick falsies that seems to originate from Taiwan or Japan. Mostly I just brushed off makeup as a frivolous and vain hobby, much like girls who love luxury bags or jewelry. I too would go around proudly stating that I don't understand or like branded bags, like I was above such materialistic possessions.
I still don't understand or like branded bags, but I keep my mouth respectfully shut now when my relatives eagerly discuss their latest acquisitions. And most of my family and friends are now very supportive of my makeup hobby, I've done a couple of wedding makeup for my relatives, and they would come over to my place and get makeup tips and buy from my large collection of makeup if I had new stuff that they liked. I had a small business selling makeup that I imported from the US, and they loved the performance and prices as compared to the stuff being sold in Singapore.
My partner was one of those "I don't like makeup on women" kind of men, but he has come to realise that that's not necessarily always true, and he is really supportive of my hobby now. Recently I started a makeup blog and he is my only reader so far, giving constructive criticism and helping me out whenever possible.
I'm just really grateful for the support I get, because it hadn't always been this way. Recently I posted my first makeup post on Facebook with me wearing green eyeshadow, and the comments were so overwhelmingly positive that it was what made me start my blog. It could be that my skills and aesthetic has greatly improved from when I first started and was blindly copying beauty gurus also. But it still stings even when it's constructive criticism. My friend told me my eyebrows were too thick and it looked like I had double brows, and my partner said my cheeks were too dark and my chin too red. Both comments made me wipe off my makeup in a hurry, and they weren't even shaming me. I wish I could be as sassy and confident as some of the comments I've read in this thread, and I've read every single one. You guys are the best and give me so much inspiration...
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